The free-fall of thoughts

So, I have to start all over now, I ruminated again, as I ate a spinach wrap on a Sunday morning.

These words had been lingering over my head for the last three days. With the old blog gone. The connection with the blogger-friends gone. And with the access to the ‘one-year-of-posts’ written on that blog gone. I certainly needed to start over again.

It all started with an attempt to get a new web address –Tinytidbits.in.

Two things were the reason for the attempt.

  1. I couldn’t resist the allure of this name on my blog. (write2blogg.wordpress.com wasn’t the fanciest of the names I came up with last year)
  2. I forgot the old but highly resourceful advice of Sir William Shakespeare –“What’s in a name?”

Words were typed. Name was finalized. Money was paid. 

And voila. I had my own domain for the blog.

But then things went south as things like data and blog stats migration didn’t work as planned. Somehow nothing worked –I was experiencing Murphy’s Law in action.

I have to start all over now. These words were killing me.

.  .  .

The laptop screen went blank again.

I was reading articles on medium.com when it happened.The battery was behaving erratically. Its replacement was due. 

I made a phone call at the local HP service center and found that the required make was available. So, I changed into fresh clothes, picked up my wallet and cruiser keys and headed out of the flat.

.  .  .

I was in the elevator now.

It’s surprising how ‘thoughts’ work. The moment they find some spare estate in your mind, they find their way into your head like the water finds its way into a pot-hole.

I was alone in the elevator. I leaned back on one of its wall, completely oblivious to my surroundings, lost in the same three days old stale thoughts about the blog.

A jolt shook me out of my thoughts.

The whole elevator shook and stopped as if somebody has given it a violent jerk. I found railing on one of its walls and held onto it as tightly as possible. My mind went blank as I stared at the cold steel walls. For a couple of moments, nothing moved.

Then the lights went out and the lift went into a free fall.

The worst moments in life, I’d read somewhere, are the ones when you can’t do anything as the world around you crumbles down. Somehow the quote resonated with me at that moment, quite literally in fact.

The sound of metal screeching with metal filled the elevator as it tumbled down inch by inch, floor by floor. Every atom of my body was alive with anticipation. I was scared.

Due to the free-fall, I felt lighter as if I as being pulled by a force from above. I could feel the spinach wrap tumbling in my stomach.

It is not surprising what comes to your mind in such moment. Everything that truly matters. But what is surprising is the speed at which you see everything. The fall must have been for a few seconds. But my mind raced from one picture to another as my whole life converted into a series of snapshots. It’s a different feeling when you realize that it could be your last.

.  .  .

The free-fall stopped.

I didn’t move for a few seconds as if my steps could start it again, the free-fall, the torrent of thoughts. I don’t know for how long I waited. Every second stretched like hours. The lights were still out.

After some time, I poked my hand onto the switch-panel and pushed on the emergency-call button. Nobody replied. I pressed again. And then again. After the fourth attempt, I heard a static and then the sound of a hello.

I think only Graham Bell would have felt this much happiness on hearing this word from a phone line as I felt at that moment.

In one breath, I spelled out everything. The building number, the elevator on which I was.

After a few moments, I heard some sound outsides. The help had come.

My nerves calmed a little as I listened to their muffled sounds behind the two-inch elevator door. Still, they were taking long to get me out.

I must have waited for five minutes as I saw the thin space between elevator door expanding, as the door opened. It is then I realized that the elevator had come to a halt between the third and the second floor. So as the doors parted, I saw half of the exit space blocked by the thick concrete separating the two floors, providing only a little space for me to go out.

I quickly knelt down and slid outsides, making a small jump as I landed on the floor.

.  .  .

There was an electricity failure. Usually, elevators stops when this happens, but because of some malfunction in circuits, it didn’t and then it went into a free-fall. It was the mechanical lock that had finally halted the elevator.

I was too shocked to go out for a laptop battery then. So I decided to go back to my flat on the eighth floor, by stairs. Told my flatmate about the incident, but somehow words didn’t capture what I felt in those moments, in that elevator free-falling in the shaft.

My mind was filled with thoughts again, but of different kind. My thoughts had experienced a free-fall. No more about blog and stats, they seemed so trivial now, like most of the things I usually worry about.

.  .  .

PS – As I was writing this, I got a call from the domain providers. They informed that the posts and comments are recovered, but they are draft mode and need to be re-posted. Though stats etc won’t be available now. I wasn’t very particular now, on what I will get or what I will not. He was surprised by this sudden change in my expecatations. I quickly hung up.

Thank you to all of you for re-connecting with me again. I realized that I have found a bunch of really sweet people here. Thanks to all of you.

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41 thoughts on “The free-fall of thoughts

    1. thank you very much Diana for staying with me throughout the post. It was a long rant. Really appreciate your reading it and sharing encouraging words. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your words have been really encouraging. thanks a lot for warming my heart with these words. Glad to have made an acquaintance with you. have an exciting coming week. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It is like a literal heart-break when we come to know that the thoughts which we write (over the months) are gone in a tick. It is really disappointing. I am glad that all your posts are recovered and saved in the draft. Now I realized the importance of backing up. I will back up all my posts so that it becomes helpful for the future. You have expressed your thoughts well even in a free fall mode. Don’t worry bhai. You will get all the followers back. There is timing of events bhai. Have a beautiful sunday. 🙂

    Like

    1. Thanks a lot Jackie. Seriously, backing up is really important. It was good that I was blogging on medium too. So around 50% of my posts are there. But then others were only first or second draft which I finally edited into a final version in wordpress itself. Luckily I’ve got them back. But it’s a lesson. Thanks for your words. Really appreciate them. have an exciting coming week 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, Nitin! That’s so scary! Puts things into perspective. I hope you get back what you need so that your work over the last year is saved. You will gain followers in no time. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What a terrifying experience! Those really do put things into perspective though, that’s for sure. I’m glad you’re okay, and I’m *sure* this new blog will pick up in no time at all. Wishing you a lovely day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just discovered your blog. Glad to know you survived the elevator crisis as well as regrouping after your blog catastrophe. You certainly have a way of telling a riveting story. I look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Finally found youuuuuuuuu.. Actually I was missing some fun filled – thriller- mystery filled – getting me onto the seat end or chills down the spine, goose bumps giving, lovely, touchy, cliche work of yoursss!! 😉 OK those words were too little but to be honest I fell short of words as my dictionary is under maintenance work! 😛 hahah! Hows eww!!!??? Where were uuu???

    Dont you worry a bit I am sure your works wills urely bring back your old fellows and you will attract many many many many more readers from here! 😉 All the best!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the ‘loveiest’ comment over Ishma -no your vocabulary is not under maintenance. you used much more words than i deserve 😛

      Had a blog address issue. Got a new domain. But wasn’t working properly. So now the new blog.
      thanks for the wishes Ishma. I was missing some loveliness in my life 🙂

      Like

  6. Though it was a horrible experience but you have actually penned it so very beautifully that each and every word is expressing different emotions here. It’s very true that after experiencing those dreadful moments, the stats and the battery issue would have appeared minor to you.
    Best of luck with your new blog address 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks Madeeha. Yes, experience like this put things into perspective. Even though moments were really scary, but i think it kind of helped me to shrug off this useless worry about small things.. thanks for your nice comment Madeeha, really helped me open up. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It reminds me of Oscar Wilde who in his play “The importance of being Earnest” which is a light comedy explains this philosophy. He writes
        “We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality.”
        I enjoyed reading your post (:

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love Oscar Wilde’s quotes. And this one is a gem too. Thanks for liking the post, and I loved your comment. 🙂

        Like

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